This article reports fieldwork carried out in 2011 with the aim of investigating the attitudes and reported behavior of young Congolese men and women concerning sexual relationships, including forced marriage. A sample of 56 boys and girls aged 16–20 from two urban and two rural high schools in South Kivu province took part in focus groups and 40 of them were subsequently interviewed individually. Most male and female participants reported that parents would force their daughters to marry their boyfriends if she spent a night with him and came back home because, according, to Bashi tradition, she is ‘no longer a girl’. If their daughter becomes pregnant, most parents would force their daughter to marry the genitor. The onus of preventing sex, pregnancy and rape is on the shoulders of the girl, which is consistent with oppressive patriarchal norms that may perpetuate violence against women.